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Are you where you want to be right now? If not, what’s holding you back from getting where you want to go?
It took me years before I finally decided to break up with my ex and found the courage to start a new life. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my fear of being alone or my fear of facing the truth. We were together since college and to think of just throwing away 9 years of a relationship wasn’t something I took lightly. I was also scared to prove to myself that I was right in thinking that we were not really meant to be together and that I made the wrong decision from the very start.
However, I realized that none of my reasons made sense. I had to do what I had to do to be myself and feel genuine happiness once again. I was very scared when I zoomed out of his apartment and left everything behind, but there was nothing left for me there. I had no reason to stay because all the respect we had for each other was gone.
If you’re in the same situation right now, do yourself a favor. Do something better with your time. Don’t be scared of the pain because it’s worth it.
Here are some questions that you need to ask yourself to know if your fear is valid or not.
What Are You Risking?
Will your happiness be at risk if you do what you’re afraid to do? Let’s say you’re dating a man who is perfect boyfriend material. He has a good job, he earns good money, he’s handsome, thoughtful, and definitely someone you can show off to your friends. However, there’s one problem. There’s no connection between the two of you and you don’t feel excited every time you’re with him.
According to writer Emily Williams, sparks and fireworks are not a figment of your imagination. In fact, they are powerful force that indicate authentic love and definitely not something that you have to compromise just so you can make your friends jealous of you. Needless to say, if your happiness is at risk, perhaps, you have to learn to let go and continue searching for the real magic out there.
Is It Worth It?
What’s in it for you when you take the risk? And when you don’t, what would be your regrets? There’s truth in the saying that in the end, you only regret those things that you didn’t do.
There’s greater remorse over the shots that you didn’t take than over those you did take and missed. This is not to imply, however, that you should or shouldn’t do something that you’re afraid of. I’m just saying that being defeated by your fears is your own decision to make. If you choose to pass on the chance, go ahead but don’t go beating yourself up after for having regrets and being a disappointment to yourself.
Do You Really Know What You’re Doing?
Will you be putting your life or your health at risk? Is what you want to do that dangerous? You might need to gather more information and educate yourself first.
In losing weight, for instance, may people deprive themselves and do harmful things just to see quick results. They want to skip the part wherein they need to eat healthy and exercise regularly just to get in shape. So, if you’re kind of skeptical about trying out a certain weight loss method, I suggest that you do your own research first because your fear of trying a new diet may be valid.
Before you embark on your weight loss journey, check this out – “9 Unhealthy, Even Dangerous Weight Loss Diets.”
What Is Your Limit?
The only way to recognize your limits is to go beyond them. And you can start by asking yourself, “Are the things that are stopping you from pursuing your dreams real or just your assumptions?”
For example, when you tell me that you can’t be with someone you love because he’s already married, then that limitation is real and I think it’s a very good reason for you to kiss your dream goodbye and create a new one. However, when you say that you can’t travel and see the places that you want to see because you’re not rich enough to afford it, then clearly, you’re just making excuses as there are ways to make things happen.
Getting rid of your self-imposed blocks in order to focus on what’s working in your life in order to stay optimistic and patient is very important.
Once you’ve identified your self-imposed boundaries, it will be easier for you to start doing something about it. You will be able to filter out some useless thoughts in your mind and just focus on what really matters.
Sometimes, to be able to conquer your fears and limits, you must make a fool out of yourself because your life’s party won’t start when you choose to just stay prim and proper at the corner of the dance floor. It only begins when you finally have the courage to grab those fluffy feather boas and dance to your own beat.