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When we were young, nobody really warned us about the ugly truths in life. It’s probably because the adults just wanted us to enjoy our youth, or maybe, they believed that there are certain things in life that we have to figure out on our own so that we could understand the lesson better.
Whatever their reasons were, I agree with them. In life, there is a right time for everything, to play, to get serious and to learn. Sometimes, we have to experience things first hand to be able to comprehend and appreciate the lesson.
One of the many aspects of my life that I was able to sort out on my own is friendship.
“As we grow up, we realize that it becomes less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones.”
As an only child, who had strict, overprotective and busy parents, I wasn’t really allowed to go outside and play. So, I longed for connections and always looked forward to going to school so that I could have the company of my classmates and not feel so alone.
I hated rainy days and vacations because at home, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to except for our household help.
I treated my friends like brothers and sisters that I never had. However, despite doing all that, I’ve been betrayed and stabbed in the back many times.
When I was younger, it started with simple issues like other kids breaking and stealing my toys. However, as I got older, the conflicts weren’t that simple anymore. Some of them liked to talk behind my back, others forgot the money they owed me, then there was all the girls who liked to steal my boyfriends.
Eventually, I learned to identify what was good and what was bad for me. I also realized that in order for me to have peace of mind, it’s necessary to remove those friends who are no longer good for me.
Justin Bariso shares a remarkable word that can easily make our lives more favorable for us – the power of saying “NO.”
Learning this simple word gives us freedom and the ability to decide and take control of our lives. It provides us an advantage to focus on and accomplish what we really want to do.
Saying NO is not a call for revolution but a way of preserving your values and protecting your boundaries.
Every time you say yes to something you don’t really want, you are denying yourself amazing life experiences, your chance to be happy and your right to be heard.
Another important thing that we need to practice is appropriate channeling.
The piece “10 Reasons You Should Vent to Your Boyfriend, Not Your Friends” gives us a very interesting example of this particular lesson.
Aside from enhancing communication, venting to your man is far more productive than complaining to your girlfriend because it gives your man an opportunity to change or at least explain himself.
Proper channeling is a form of respect, giving the person his dignity and the chance to fix the problem or correct himself.
Trash-talking is just low and ill-mannered. It denies a person their honor and right to fair judgment.
Another valuable philosophy that we can incorporate in our lives is eating healthy even when our life is crazy.
Celebrity nutritionist and single mom JJ Virgin tells us her eating habits and lifestyle that helped her stay healthy while juggling her ever-increasing responsibilities.
Life can be screwy sometimes, but it is not an excuse for you to take yourself or your health for granted.
Making health and wellness one of your top priorities can be very challenging, but it is essential to living a longer and a more fulfilling life.
Avoid engaging in habits or activities that could potentially damage your mind and body such as too much partying, smoking and drinking.
Life can also be frightening because there are a lot of things that are beyond our control. However, by facing your fears and challenging yourself to do something that scares you, you allow endless opportunities into your life.
Check this out – “Why You Need to Do the Things that Scare the Sh*t Out of You.”
Overriding your fears and getting out of your comfort zone mean lesser restrictions in life.
Every brave step you take brings you closer to potential greatness and helps you realize that there is something beyond what you consider safe and normal.
Life can be really hard and what makes it harder is that it doesn’t come with an instruction manual or a guide to follow. However, you are not alone.
Every woman makes mistakes, experiences failures, hits rock bottom at least once in her lifetime, but as long as you never give up, as long as you keep on learning and as long as you are willing to go out of your comfort zone once in a while, your life has endless possibilities.
Saying “no” is actually the easiest step out of my comfort zone that I didn’t really consider before. A while back my senior colleague handed a pile of work without considering my current workload. I refused him out loud, talked it over with my boss, and got the problem solved even though it damaged our relationship. I thought I was being too emotional, but then I realized I enjoyed work better, which improves productivity and quality of life in general.
I think the occasional step out of the comfort zone is an absolute necessity for an enjoyable, rewarding life. And the tips for eating healthy are just as necessary, to get through all those challenges.
Friendships have always been a hard thing for me. I seem to always attract the people that wanted to use me and I think this is because I had a hard time saying ‘no’. Now that I’m older I have learned that in order for me to be truly happy I have to say that word to people and they will just have to live with my decision.
I was the same way. I always tried to be personable to everyone, but wound up with only one good friend. Looking back, I realize that maybe that was for the best
The health and wellness aspect of life came late for me. It used to be all about the money, and then I had an anxiety attack and started thinking more about my well-being.
This is me to a T too. I still say, keep your circle small. A few true friends is way better than a lot of fake friends. I have always had issues making close friends.
I say no too but then I feel bad. I’ll rearrange my schedule to help someone out. My problem is that I do this for people that never return the favor. I have to get better at this.
I once read a Facebook meme that said “Sometimes you have to unfriend people in real life, too” and I couldn’t agree more. I think sometimes we stick with people out of loyalty, or out of habit, or even out of obligation when the thing we should be doing most is moving on from them. People who add nothing to your life, bring in too much negativity, or pull you down have no place in your story.
That’s really kind of you. I think it’s important to try stepping out of our comfort zone, but if you feel burdened when you turn away then you don’t have to push yourself too hard either. I suppose accepting that they will not always return the favor is the key to solve the contradiction. Maybe that is your character which can’t be denied.