Image by: xusenru
By Lex Lopez
I don’t know about you but I used to have a horrible means of coping with the pain of heartbreak. I would go out with my friends and get drunk to the point of being incapable of recognizing where I was and who I was with. I would do anything to avoid being alone with myself and being my own company.
Of course it didn’t help me get over the hurt and betrayal I felt from my broken relationships. Instead, it made me feel ugly and nasty.
So, the last time I was brokenhearted, I tried to do things differently. I avoided my friends, locked myself in my room and spent several days watching old movies while eating junk food and of course, crying whenever I wanted to.
I thought being alone was hard, but it isn’t. Instead, it made me realize that I was strong enough to deal with my pain and that I would do just fine being on my own. It also made me believe in my abilities and my worth once again.
Ladies, here are some steps that you can take to get to a place wherein you’re happy with yourself, you’re confident and you appreciate who you really are.
Get Rid of Rubbish People in Your Life
The first thing that you need to do is to stay away from people who only give you stress and sadness, and who make you feel terrible about yourself. It doesn’t necessarily mean though that you have to cut them out of your life completely. I understand that sometimes, it’s really impossible. It just means that you have to stop making them your priority and that you will only spend time with them on your own terms.
It is harder for you to build confidence surrounded by those who don’t respect you and treat you like a doormat. So, start filtering your connections and raise your standards when it comes to choosing friends. Relieve yourself from those toxic people in your life ladies!
Writer Jill Weber suggests doing these 5 things to make yourself feel better and stop settling for less than you deserve.
Set Goals & Make Them Happen
Another effective way to break through low self-esteem is to come up with specific objectives to improve the quality of your life. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small for as long as you’re making it happen.
There’s a certain level of satisfaction that you get when you know that your effort is bringing you closer to what you desire. For example, every morning, while I’m having breakfast, I write a list of things that I need to accomplish within the day. It helps me have a sense of direction in managing my time and gives me a sense of fulfillment whenever I cross out an item and mark it as “Done!” At the end of the day, my to-do list turns into a list of achievements and it makes me feel awesome!
To begin making things happen, think of a category in your life that needs improvement such as your health, productivity or finances. And then, create a plan that will help you execute your goals.
And just in case you decide to manage and grow your money better, check this out – “10 Financial Resolutions to Make This Year.”
Ladies, being able to make things better for yourself only confirms that you are not helpless and that you can do amazing things on your own.
I think you’re all going to agree with me when I say that one of the biggest confidence killers is unemployment. It happened to me 5 years ago. Aside from not having income, my self-esteem was wrecked every time I would hear that I didn’t meet the requirements for positions that I’m sure I was perfectly capable of holding.
Basically, I was a mess for about a month and then one morning, a friend of mine asked me to jog with her. And voila! I suddenly realized that I could do something better with my time while waiting to hear back about my job applications.
It took me another month to land a good job, but that span of time was also enough for me to get back in shape and feel better about myself.
So ladies, instead of feeling pathetic for being a part of the unemployment pool, use that time and career space wisely to enhance yourself – your knowledge and your skills.
Here are other ways to make the most of being unemployed:
• Evaluate yourself and find out what you really want
• Do something that will contribute to an improved you, such as registering for free online classes or embarking on a fitness journey
• Have some quality time with your loved ones
• Make new connections that could potentially bring good opportunities
Make Time to Help Others
Doing positive things for other people makes you feel more positive about yourself. It makes you realize that you have the power to make someone happy, to improve someone’s life and to inspire others.
So, be an angel. Help others who are also struggling with low self-esteem to feel better about themselves. Find something good to say. It could be as simple as telling your friend how you like her style, her choice of handbag, or the shoes she’s wearing.
It’s true that you can never find happiness until you learn to spread it to others. Well, it’s the same thing when you’re trying to build a strong sense of self. You can never feel better unless you learn the importance and value of helping someone else get better.
Affirming yourself is not just about you and you alone, but also about renewing your perspective and reconstructing your world to be better to others and carry a kind and generous heart.