By Christian Carter
It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s true: Just because a man has sex with a woman doesn’t mean that he has even spent a second thinking whether or not he wants to be with her or have a relationship in the future.
So if you’re thinking that sleeping with a man will make him “see your worth”, you’re dead wrong.
It is not the physical attraction a man feels for a woman – or getting close to her physically – that makes a man really “feel it” for you and want more.
Yet almost every woman I know equates sex with a relationship.
The Morning After
Let’s say you slept with a guy, and then he got distant. You’re probably thinking he played around with you and was not being honest about what he was looking for.
But let me ask you this: Did YOU tell him what you wanted before you got physical? Did you say something like, “I only sleep with a man if he already values me and sees me for the amazing woman that I am?”
I’m guessing no. Instead, you probably did what lots of women do during “casual dating” – You gave him no impression about whether you were in it for the fun and connection of it all with him or were actually looking for something serious.
You thought the act of sex alone would speak for itself. Wrong.
If you’ve ever felt hurt because you became physical with a man and he ended up not having an interest in dating or starting a relationship, then odds are you can look back and see that you’ve made this mistake.
Of course, it doesn’t seem like it’s you who is making a mistake in these situations. It feels like the man you’re with is the one who obviously doesn’t get it and is a player for not being ready for a relationship.
But deep down, you know you slept with this man because you believed that if you could come up with enough “proof” that he should love and value you, and if you could make things “perfect” between you two, then he would become the open and loving man you imagined him to be.
Who Gives You Your Worth?
You’ve gotta stop banking on what you think a relationship could be – and what I call a man’s “future potential” – and start opening your eyes to what is.
You’re so wrapped up in his perspective, what he’s doing, his feelings, his emotions and his desires (or lack thereof) that you’ve all but forgotten about something way important. What YOU really want.
I’ll take a wild guess here and bet that the kind of guy that you truly want isn’t a guy who is going to freak out or act distant just because you’re telling him how you’re feeling after you’ve already slept together.
[Ed. Note: Christian Charter’s “Catch Him And Keep Him” gives you specific tips, behaviors and strategies for building and keeping a deep and intense level of attraction with a man, such as the personality traits that attract men, body language, and much more. Click here to learn more.]