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“Despite having someone on your side, getting that promotion, and having the things that you need, why do you still feel that there’s something wrong with your life?” “Why do you still come home exhausted and incomplete?”
These were the questions that I asked myself 5 years ago when I was still so lost and confused. I knew that it was not just a simple issue of contentment or appreciation of small things, but something deeper. So, I tried to consult my best friend Sam about it but instead of providing me some answers, she just threw more questions at me.
“Why are you still with the man who cheated on you many times? What’s keeping you from pursuing your dream of starting your own business? Why do you keep on treating yourself like garbage?”
Your best friend can really be your worst enemy but in my case, it was in a good way. Sam knew my weakness, where to attack me to make me realize some things and shake me awake.
It took me a while to come to a decision to choose to be happy. It wasn’t easy to let go of some people who don’t add value to my life, to start being more conscious so as not to sabotage my own growth, and to shift my thinking into something positively. However, when I started to feel the changes around me, I became more at peace with myself.
To focus your energy on living positively, try to always remember these things that happy people do differently.
They Always See the Good Side of Any Situation
They greet life with energy and bring optimism into their life to keep themselves happy and motivated. They don’t let their failures and mistakes get in the way of their progress and success. They don’t let their past cripple their ability to move forward and rob them from the joy of living in the moment, instead they decide they turn it into a learning opportunity to empower and inspire them to become better people.
In the piece “Embracing Your Most Painful Memories Can Empower You,” writer Maz Dela Cerna explains the importance of using your pain, tears and all those sleepless nights to win against yourself.
In my opinion, before you can see the good in any situation, it’s essential that you defeat your self-doubts and beat those negative self-talks in your head first because these are the things that are holding you back from realizing that you are stronger than you think you are and from seeing how far you’ve come.
They Believe That Happiness is a Decision
They ditch their worries and make conscious decisions to be happy. It doesn’t mean that their life is easy and perfect. It’s just that although they have hundreds of reasons to feel bad, frustrated and mad, they won’t choose to go down that path. Instead, they find one good reason to make themselves feel better and lift their spirits up.
So, make that decision to be happy, live fully and always choose to look at things in a more positive light. Here are some ways to help you make that choice:
• Instead of reminding yourself what you want to change every time you look in the mirror, give yourself some positive reinforcement.
• Filter your social media accounts to see things and people that offer substance and inspiration.
• Stop comparing yourself to others.
• Read and learn more about the world.
• Treat yourself how you want to be treated.
They Know How to Set Healthy Boundaries
They know how to protect themselves from people who are trying to take advantage of them, abuse their kindness and threaten their peace and happiness. They know how to speak their minds and they don’t just keep silent and walk away when they see something unfair. They stand up for themselves and say NO when necessary.
And although they love freely and passionately, they believe that every relationship needs to set healthy boundaries, such as having respect for one another’s differences, listening to each other’s opinions and making decisions as a couple.
In an interview with Toni Coleman, a licensed social worker and relationship expert, boundaries help the couples function as a team and create balance between them at times of conflicting needs and wants.
Ladies, if you want to have a real fulfilling relationship, make your union as healthy as possible by putting adequate boundaries in place.
They Celebrate Life
They believe that life is meant to be enjoyed so they follow their passion. They dance in the rain, they sing their hearts out and they laugh until their belly hurts. Also, they know how to have fun. They work hard, but keep everything balanced by knowing when to go out there, let loose and stay energized.
So, if you want to become a highly fulfilled woman, you have to learn to live in the moment. If you feel you’re exhausted and overworked, take a break and pamper yourself a little. Explore new things and devise your own bucket list. You don’t have to go very far. If you’re on a limited budget and don’t want to compromise your saving goals, you can plan a staycation instead.
Writer Reema Desai suggests ways to make sure your staycation stands up to even the fanciest of vacations.
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