Image by: laleyla5
By Vanessa Green
At what age did you actually feel maturity setting in? You know, when you start to develop some sense of independence and responsibility? Or that moment when you start to realize that you have to make big changes or adjustments because you have to grow?
I don’t know about you but for me, maturity is not something that is exclusively associated with age because I’ve encountered a lot of immature people in my life that are way older than me, adults who behave worse than children.
When my friend Alyssa broke the news that she got engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years, I was one of the many people who were “surprisingly surprised.” They might have been dating for a real long time, but everybody knew that their relationship has always been on the rocks.
One week, they’re on, the next week, they’re off. They’re sweet for a couple of hours and then the next thing you know, they were screaming at each other in public.
I seriously didn’t have any idea what was keeping them together.
Then, two months before her wedding, Alyssa called me crying so I immediately went over to her apartment to find out what was going on. She told me she was confused because she wasn’t feeling any excitement at all. In fact, a big part of her didn’t want to get married. She knew in herself that they wouldn’t be happy together and could never work out their differences.
Of course, I didn’t tell her to call off her wedding. I didn’t want to interfere and get blamed in the end. So, I just listened and told her to examine her feelings well before making any drastic decision.
In my mind, it was just another dramatic situation and Alyssa was just being Alyssa.
However, two weeks later, I heard from a friend that Alyssa actually cancelled the wedding and went on an indefinite leave.
When I called her, she told me she was okay and that she just needed some time alone to do some soul-searching and know what she really wanted to happen in her life.
I’ve never heard my friend sound so firm and sure. I was glad that she found the courage to take control of her life and make such a big decision. That day, I knew that my friend just turned into a grown woman.
Maturity comes with experience.
It is a never-ending process of learning the best possible action and reaction to every given situation. It happens when you start to think of the consequences of your decisions, when you realize that you’re accountable for every action you make and when you acknowledge the behaviors that you need to work on in order to become a better version of yourself.
You’re a fully grown woman when you reach a certain level of self-awareness.
You start to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values and morals. You become aware of your worth as a woman, what’s good for you and what would make you happy.
You know better than to settle in a childish relationship that are full of dramas and games. You prefer to have an adult relationship, which is something more serious and real.
Instead of crying over your problems, you acknowledge your strengths and use them to your advantage to navigate through your challenges.
According to a study, emotional intelligence presents a significant advantage for women in the workplace. This includes self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.
But although it’s a proven fact that we women are smarter than men, we shouldn’t just sit back and relax. EQ is a flexible skill that we can enhance by effort.
You realize the importance of always being ready for change and improvement.
Life will always shake things up and scare you from time to time but when you learn how to roll with the punches and adjust with life’s constant flux, you’re definitely on the right track.
Being mentally strong takes time and effort but you just have to continue pushing and fighting.
And lastly, you are a mature person when you have a deep understanding of your life’s meaning and purpose and when it is clearly reflected in your actions.
You’re not afraid of failure anymore. You’ve learned how to be relaxed and calm no matter what life throws at you. You’re not scared to surrender to change because you know that it will only make you stronger and better.
Writer Kathryn Budig offers some advice to guide you on your way to maturity and stop your fear of failure to keep you from unlocking your true purpose.
Growth has to take place at some point.
Ladies, I encourage you to reflect on yourself and see if you have all these signs. If yes, congratulations! If not, well I guess there’s no other perfect time to do all these things than now.