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At what age did you actually feel maturity setting in? You know, when you start to develop some sense of independence and responsibility? Or that moment when you start to realize that you have to make big changes or adjustments because you have to grow?
I don’t know about you but for me, maturity is not something that is exclusively associated with age because I’ve encountered a lot of immature people in my life that are way older than me, adults who behave worse than children.
When my friend Alyssa broke the news that she got engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years, I was one of the many people who were “surprisingly surprised.” They might have been dating for a real long time, but everybody knew that their relationship has always been on the rocks.
One week, they’re on, the next week, they’re off. They’re sweet for a couple of hours and then the next thing you know, they were screaming at each other in public.
I seriously didn’t have any idea what was keeping them together.
Then, two months before her wedding, Alyssa called me crying so I immediately went over to her apartment to find out what was going on. She told me she was confused because she wasn’t feeling any excitement at all. In fact, a big part of her didn’t want to get married. She knew in herself that they wouldn’t be happy together and could never work out their differences.
Of course, I didn’t tell her to call off her wedding. I didn’t want to interfere and get blamed in the end. So, I just listened and told her to examine her feelings well before making any drastic decision .
In my mind, it was just another dramatic situation and Alyssa was just being Alyssa.
However, two weeks later, I heard from a friend that Alyssa actually cancelled the wedding and went on an indefinite leave.
When I called her, she told me she was okay and that she just needed some time alone to do some soul-searching and know what she really wanted to happen in her life.
I’ve never heard my friend sound so firm and sure. I was glad that she found the courage to take control of her life and make such a big decision. That day, I knew that my friend just turned into a grown woman.
Maturity comes with experience.
It is a never-ending process of learning the best possible action and reaction to every given situation. It happens when you start to think of the consequences of your decisions, when you realize that you’re accountable for every action you make and when you acknowledge the behaviors that you need to work on in order to become a better version of yourself.
You’re a fully grown woman when you reach a certain level of self-awareness.
You start to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values and morals. You become aware of your worth as a woman, what’s good for you and what would make you happy.
You know better than to settle in a childish relationship that are full of dramas and games. You prefer to have an adult relationship, which is something more serious and real.
Instead of crying over your problems, you acknowledge your strengths and use them to your advantage to navigate through your challenges.
According to a study, emotional intelligence presents a significant advantage for women in the workplace. This includes self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.
But although it’s a proven fact that we women are smarter than men, we shouldn’t just sit back and relax. EQ is a flexible skill that we can enhance by effort.
You realize the importance of always being ready for change and improvement.
Life will always shake things up and scare you from time to time but when you learn how to roll with the punches and adjust with life’s constant flux, you’re definitely on the right track.
Being mentally strong takes time and effort but you just have to continue pushing and fighting.
And lastly, you are a mature person when you have a deep understanding of your life’s meaning and purpose and when it is clearly reflected in your actions.
You’re not afraid of failure anymore. You’ve learned how to be relaxed and calm no matter what life throws at you. You’re not scared to surrender to change because you know that it will only make you stronger and better.
Writer Kathryn Budig offers some advice to guide you on your way to maturity and stop your fear of failure to keep you from unlocking your true purpose.
Growth has to take place at some point.
Ladies, I encourage you to reflect on yourself and see if you have all these signs. If yes, congratulations! If not, well I guess there’s no other perfect time to do all these things than now.
My favorite part of the article was the 4th sign of maturity because it’s so true! Life is going to happen regardless and things are going to be thrown at you and sometimes thrown at you HARD, but when you’ve matured, you get a grasp on that fact and it doesn’t bother you as much anymore. A mature person can work around the curve balls life throws at them with their purpose and goals still in mind; while, a woman that hasn’t matured will change her path completely each time life throws something unexpected at her.
I love the tip about not crying and use your strength to get the job done. I have felt like crying many times at work. I have talked myself through many issues. Buckle down, think things through and get it done.
It is true that maturity does come with age. Personally, I developed a sense of maturity at a very tender age, say 16. Being the eldest of my siblings, I was always the point of reference whenever my mother wanted to pass a point across.
A mature woman understands the value of friendship and so surrounds herself with people who challenge her to reach greater heights.
Once you’re mature enough to know your own self worth, you’ll go far in this world. This is when you stop letting people push you around. You start making people treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
When I got married and had my first child, I felt responsibility set in. It was a whole new world that I had never experienced before. But, I felt maturity set in when I had my second child because I was so much calmer and more laid back. I knew from experience what I needed to do instead of freaking out about every little thing.I also learned my self worth around this time because I was proud of the good mother and wife I had become.
I have always felt an acted more mature than most people who were the same age as me. But, when I found myself divorced and a single mom at 23, responsibility really hit me in the face. However, I took it on like a champ and now I am very happy that I did. I have a 22 year old son who has turned out to be a very fine young man to show for it.
I have seen people cry at work and it’s a horrible sight. It really makes them look like they can’t handle their job. I have cried but it’s always been in the bathroom. I pulled myself together, splashed water on my face and got the job done.