Image by: evitaochel
By Anne Caherell
Five years ago, my friend Jess had her first child and since then, with all the cooking, cleaning, and nursing she never has any time for herself. She always tells me that she’s a living proof that “me-time” is BS once you become a mother.
However, what she failed to realized was that the risk of becoming overwhelmed by her responsibilities and the ugly after effects of a mental burnout. The last time I visited her, I didn’t stay too long because she was having an argument with her husband and of course that’s always an awkward situation to be involved in. Even when we would talk on the phone it seemed like every 2 minutes she was yelling at her kids to pacify them. She was indeed in deep chaos.
So, one day, I finally convinced her to leave her two sons with their grandparents so that we could enjoy some girl bonding. I brought her to my favorite spa and explained to her that if she doesn’t act a little selfish at least for one afternoon, she will become a horrible and ugly person to deal with over the years and perhaps for the rest of her life.
A few days later, I got a surprise visit from Jess and the kids. She thanked me for reminding her that she should consider herself important too.
Sometimes, you have to be a little selfish and nurse your ego every once in a while so that you can have the energy to let some unpleasant things roll off your shoulders, feel better afterwards, and tolerate unpleasant circumstances that are beyond your control.
Here are some signs that your mind is exhausted and that you need time to take a pause, put yourself back together and make your brain work again FOR YOU rather than AGAINST YOU.
You’re Always Assuming the Worst
You have an inner villain in you. Aside from lacking confidence in your decisions, you also filter out the good in everything and just choose to pay attention to the bad. And obviously, it’s not a good thing because you could be overlooking good opportunities and pushing away someone who could be amazing for you.
To overpower the monster inside you, you have to understand how it operates. You need to:
• Set practical and realistic expectations
• Gain self-respect by appreciating your accomplishments, big or small.
• Stop over-analyzing and trust yourself more
• Rely on facts not on assumptions
You’re Having a Difficult Time Resisting Temptations
You lack self-control or self-discipline. In dealing with your finances, for example, you easily give in to your impulses, get pressured by your friends’ expensive lifestyles, concede to your ridiculous cravings and get defeated by your shopping urges without really thinking of the consequences afterwards.
To eliminate that feeling of helplessness when it comes to your finances, check this out – “4 Insightful Tips to Control Your Spending Habits.”
I find #4 the most striking: be willing to change. It is important to have a strong desire to improve your situation. With continuous practice, willpower and faith in your own abilities, it’s not impossible to make things right and transform your life.
You Get Easily Discouraged
Lack of purpose, unclear goals, too much pride, and being associated with the wrong people are just few of the many things that could zap out your energy and enthusiasm in making progress in your life and finishing what you’ve started.
In trying to lose weight, for instance, many journeys end up in catastrophes with more weight gained than lost. After a few days of following a strict diet and workout schedule, many of us just find ourselves exhausted, lazy and demotivated.
Ladies, when you find yourself discouraged by the lack of continuous progress, you don’t have to feel bad about yourself. All you have to do is adjust your actions, and in this case, your workout routine.
You Doubt Yourself Too Much
Another way to tell if your brain is working against you is when you think negatively of yourself, believing that you are a failure and that you will never be good enough. If you continue to allow these negative thoughts to conquer your head, they will eventually come true.
To avoid messing up your life, you should take charge of your emotions, your body’s physical states and your thoughts. According to writer Light Watkins, meditation can help you create an internal spam filter to help you get rid of your mind’s irrelevant content, change your internal message, achieve clarity and find a sense of direction and inner guidance.
So, be bold and try to meditate at least 15 minutes a day or once a week or whenever necessary, to be able to pursue the things that are aligned with your heart and to learn to trust yourself enough to do the things that you’re supposed to do.