Image by: limo23
By Anne Cacherell
Nikka, one of my friends, has been single for about three months now. For her, that is quite long already. It seems like she is never alone. I mean, she’s always in a relationship with someone as if she’s allergic to being single.
Two weeks ago, Nikka told me that she wanted her next relationship to be serious and long-lasting this time around. And I believed her. She is probably tired of all the emotional pain and damage she experiences every time she goes through a breakup.
However, I noticed that none of her ways have changed. She still goes clubbing every weekend to see if she can find “the one” out there. She looks for the same type of guys that she usually dates; some are jobless, some are still in school and the rest – typical playboys.
Well, not to be judgmental but I think that if she was really serious in her quest to find true love, I just can’t see her methods working out the way she hopes they will. She obviously needs to make better choices.
Setting goals is necessary to achieve your dreams. However, it’s just one small part of the whole battle. You also need to have a positive mental framework in order to make things happen.
Here are some possible reasons why you still haven’t achieved what you want out of life.
Because You Lack Commitment
A colleague of mine named Claire has already been promoted three times in our company, from assistant supervisor, to supervisor to a manager position. Of course, this also means that she’s now earning more, probably double the amount that she used to earn when she was still a clerk. However, I am not seeing any significant improvement in her finances. Actually, I think it has gotten worse because she now has more loans, more bills to pay and more debts.
How many people do you know in your life who always own the latest gadgets, yet don’t have any money in their bank account; who are always out of town or abroad traveling yet avoiding credit card collection agencies; who are living in a high end condominium unit yet broke AF?
For these things not to happen to you, you should be more aware of your behavioral and psychological patterns. You should also be honest with yourself. Take time to rethink what your real financial status is and then give your full commitment to giving up unnecessary things and habits that are stopping you from achieving your goals. Be willing to sacrifice and do what it takes to get where you want to be.
If it means temporary restraining yourself from vacations, dining at expensive restaurants and shopping for the latest model of iPhone, by all means do it. Use your willpower and give 100% commitment to put things into perspective and to put yourself in a position to succeed.
Because of the Self-Defeating Thoughts in Your Head
One of the negative barriers that are blocking your way from being successful in life is the way you think of yourself. If you keep on underestimating your abilities, if you’re always playing victim to the negative thoughts in your mind and if you’re allowing other people’s opinion of you demotivate and discourage you from pursuing what you desire, girl, you will never get there.
Remember this, if what’s on your mind is not helping you improve your situation and it’s only making you feel bad about yourself, do not entertain it. Be in control of your mind and only keep the thoughts that serve a useful purpose to your well-being.
You have to learn to disarm the bad thoughts in your head before they wreak havoc on your plans. You have to crush your negative thoughts before they knock you down and paralyze you from doing what you really want to do in life.
Because You Don’t Have Solid Action Steps
In baking, it is important to correctly measure the ingredients for your cake so as not to end up in a disaster. Same thing goes with life; you’re bound to fail if you don’t have solid plans or take specific action steps to attain your goal.
For instance, if you want to strengthen your relationship, you need to find ways to improve the love, create intimacy and avoid the patterns that destroy the romance such as responding in anger when your partner gives you feedback, not being open to exploring things and expanding your world, and so much more.
Because You’re Doing It All Wrong
Another good reason why you still haven’t achieved your goals is the possibility that you have no idea that you’re doing things the wrong way. It could be because of a lack of information or knowledge; or perhaps you just copied your solution from someone else thinking that you’re going to get the same result, which is not the case especially when we are talking about certain things like health and fitness.
In losing weight, for example, what’s effective for you may not be effective for others. So, don’t get stuck in just one solution and open your mind to new and different ways to stay fit and healthy.
According to Cynthia Sass, there’s no such thing as a one-size fits all protocol when it comes to dieting. So, to help you find the best food plan for you, here are 5 things that you need to know.
Ladies, simply having a vision of what you want to achieve is not enough. You need to support your dreams with a positive mindset and effective strategies to make it happen.