Image by: J.K. Califf
By Rose Vance
Ladies, what I am about to tell you will:
- Help you overcome your fears and worries about parenting
- Give you insight into the proper diet while you’re expecting
- Teach you how to build a kinder child through better values
- Inspire your journey into motherhood
It doesn’t have to be hard, that’s why I want to show you how easy it can be.
Whoever said raising kids had to be so hard anyways? Maybe they just had some real bad kids. I’m kidding! Look ladies, I know how hard it can be to be a mom. I was only 20-years-old when I had my first daughter and her father vanished less than a month after she was born. Talk about being worried as to what to do, I was downright scared to hell!
I had no job, no money, no significant other, and a beautiful new baby. But the problem remained.
I didn’t have a C-L-U-E on how to raise a child
“How am I supposed to make sure she gets everything she needs?” I thought. What should I know about my body while I’m pregnant? What if I don’t do a good job teaching her right from wrong? How will I ever manage the stress of raising a child and working full time?
Then, as if some delayed motherly instincts kicked in, I realized that if I was going to be good at one single thing right then and there it was being a mom. Forget everything else, it doesn’t matter.
I call it “embracing the now.”
First I want to get your mind into the right state and in order to do that it helps to think about the deeper connection you share with your kids.
Just the other day I came across an interesting article that posed the question, “Are you the cause or effect of your life?” Being that one depends on the other in order to exist, I immediately thought about my kids.
“You are affected by the world around you, you become literally moved into cause by your affections.”
Think about that for a second ladies, and then decide what that means to you.
To me it means I am both. I have the power to effect the lives of my children as well be the cause for their positive experiences in life.
You are not just “Mom,” you are the cause and effect of Motherhood.
Now that you understand just how important your new role is, let’s talk about one major topic that is of great concern, even if you are not pregnant yet.
Organic Vs. Conventional Foods: The Great Debate Rages On Ladies
I know you are thinking, “Here we go again with ‘organic’ food.” I was the same way until I finally did my research.
According to several studies compiled in this article on Collective-Evolution.com, the choice is a simple one: Go Organic!
Here is what you need to know:
- Conventional foods are anything containing GMO’s or Genetically Modified Organisms
- Conventional foods are treated with pesticides that can cause numerous health problems and birth defects
- By law organic foods must be chemical, antibiotic, pesticide, and GMO free
What does this mean? It means you should take the Pepsi Challenge with organic food if you haven’t already. And if cost is your concern, make a budget and compare the prices between what you usually buy and the organic versions. I have a feeling the numbers will be strikingly similar.
Once you have decided on the right diet, now you have to think about the whole child rearing stage. In this area of course the advice and opinions are literally endless. After all, a lot of kids have been brought into this world.
So where do you start?
How about at the beginning? If you have ever assembled a crappy Wal-Mart bookshelf or helped your grandma put together one of her infamous cats in clown costumes puzzles then you know there is a method to them.
You wouldn’t just start screwing sections together or jamming pieces into each other that don’t fit, so there is no reason to think about being a mom that way.
Think of raising your kids like a recipe. The more of one ingredient you put in, the more it will affect the outcome of the dish. If you spoil them rotten all the time and don’t teach them to care about other people, then you can imagine how bitter of a person they could turn into.
I found this particularly interesting because it also goes back to that whole cause and effect thing from earlier.
The Making Caring Common Project, in conjunction with the Harvard Graduate School of Education concluded this regarding the level of importance placed on kindness among youth.
“From 2013-2014, researchers spoke with 10,000 kids in either middle and high school in the United States. Nearly 80% said that their parents taught them that personal happiness and high achievement were more important than caring for other people.”
Of course they also said that every parent they interviewed regarding this finding said the opposite was true. Really ladies?
Whatever you do, don’t kid yourself when it comes to your kids.
Whether you are planning, expecting, or up to your elbows in little ones, it’s vital that you are always truthful with yourself and your children.
As the findings go on to list some key points about reversing the system of values in your kids’ lives or at least replacing them, it’s important to remember that you have to be completely on board with such planning.
- Practice kindness on a daily basis like they would an instrument or hobby
- Build a wider “circle of concern” by teaching them how to listen to an individual while also considering the “bigger picture” in order to understand multiple perspectives
- Lead by example. In other words practice what you teach and always be honest with your kids. Lying or faking will only derail the whole lesson, so don’t be afraid to let them know what you’re really thinking and feeling
- Turn destructive feeling into constructive ones. We all experience sadness, anger, jealousy, and it’s completely normal. You’re kids need to understand that, but you need to teach them how to cope and channel that negativity into a productive avenue. They will be better at managing those feelings all together.
- Take responsibility for your kids.
I honestly can’t stress that last one enough. So often I see a mom in a store with her kids and they are just walking all over her. If she freaks out and starts hitting them people will call the police on her. But if she meekly tries to calm them down and they don’t listen then people have something to say about that as well.
Don’t let this be you ladies!
In fact there is a woman who has clearly embraced motherhood while reminding all of us about the real life struggles of being a mom. Elinor Carucci is an Israeli-American photographer who wanted to share the other side of parenting, not typically seen on social media. Her brave photos will inspire any woman!
Ladies, I know each and every one of you have what it takes to be amazing moms to even more amazing kids. Just remember to embrace the now and you will always be the one in control.