Love and Lust: How to Tell Which is Which

Image by: Jeanne Menj
By Olivia Rae

We all dream of meeting our Prince Charming in the most breathtaking of ways. Maybe you bump shoulders, lock eyes, and fall madly in love. Or maybe you meet in Paris and fall in love dancing in the moonlight. Oh, a girl can dream!

But is it really love? Or have you fallen into lust? Deciphering the two can be complicated and when our emotions are overwhelming us, it can get quite stickier.

What are the signs you are in love? Or maybe that you are not in love but you are simply in lust?

#1) Body vs. Soul

Lust is the initial desire to be with a man. He’s handsome, tall, smart, and his charm almost melts you in your seat. He leaves you lying awake all night because you can’t seem to get him off of your mind and grinning at your phone with his adorable text messages.

Love, on the other hand, is the desire to stay with him when the initial adoration has faded. You’re no longer attracted to his exterior but you are captivated by his soul. You not only want to explore every inch of his body, but you want to delve into the very core of his being; how his mind works, his flaws, why he does the things he does.

The traits you were initially attracted to no longer matter as much, if even at all, as what matters now – his character. You love him not because of what he presents but because of who he is.

#2) Work vs. Play

While “in lust,” you are having fun, right? It’s almost like a drug, really. When you are head over heels in adoration for someone, you’re at a high. You are at this untouchable, surreal level. Everything is perfect. But just like a drug, that high doesn’t last forever. When you come down, are you willing to work? Or will you run because you can’t reach that “high” you had initially?

When it all boils down, love is a work. It requires commitment. It requires time. It requires a selfless attitude, grace, and constant care not because it’s an obligation like Sunday chores but because you want to put forth the effort.

If you are in lust, these things simply aren’t desirable. You give up. You don’t want to put in the time or devotion because it does seem like a chore. You don’t feel that you should have to put work into it because it should naturally come perfectly.

If that were how we were to view every aspect of life, we would have failed a long time ago. Everything requires work. Is it becoming clear to you yet?

#3) You vs. Him

When you love him, you don’t put him first, he is just there. You genuinely care more about his well being than your own and it’s not because you think it’s the right thing to do.

It’s because you would do anything to see him smile, to see him thrive, to see him soar. You would do anything in your power to protect him and help him grow. Your selflessness is effortless because your intentions are true and you want nothing but the best for him.

If it is only lust, you naturally put yourself, your time, your effort, and your well-being before his, even if you are saying otherwise. Actions speak louder than words remember? That doesn’t make you a bad person whatsoever because we all lust at one point or another. It only validates the fact that you are not in love and girl, that is okay!

Have you figured it out yet? Are you in love or just in lust?

Being on cloud nine can distort your thoughts but remember to keep your eyes on the telltales before you profess your love. We don’t want to step on any toes or break any hearts and claiming your unrequited love while on a “lust high” can make for some sour endings.

If you are not in love, don’t worry. If what you thought was love was only a state of surrealism, can you imagine what the real deal is like? Don’t settle for what you think is love when you know deep in your heart it is not.



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