Learn to Overcome the Fears & Emotions that Hold You Back From Living the Kind Of Life You’ve Always Wanted

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Image by: Anne
By Rose Vance

I don’t about any of you ladies out there, but on the mornings I don’t have at least one cup of coffee I might as well stay in bed. I know that probably sounds bad right? OK, so maybe I don’t have to have it EVERY DAY, but when you keep hearing about new studies that come out in support of coffee’s many health benefits it’s kind of hard not to pour yourself a cup.

The most recent one comes from a team of researchers who studied the effects java has on people with alcohol related liver cirrhosis, which is the scarring of the organ that can lead to its failure. Turns out that the drink actually counteracts such scarring, as one cup a day could add up to nearly a “22% decrease in the risk of developing the condition.

It’s good news for those of us who enjoy our coffee during the week and wine and cocktails on the weekends, am I right ladies?

However, the data only took into account alcohol related cirrhosis and no other forms, so they can’t say if coffee’s anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties would work in all cases such as obesity, diabetes, or hepatitis infection.

Good news is sometimes like that though, where the feeling is that of cautious optimism. It’s kind of like when you read about how to start a business and be a millionaire in “X” amount of years. They always make it sound easy, but we all know that in reality there is a lot of hard work that comes along with trying to start your own thing.

I recently read a piece by writer Lindsay Friedman that talks about doing just that and learning not to let the fear of risk ruin your aspirations. In the article she discusses a study done by Berkeley Associate Professor Gustavo Manso, who discovered two things:

  • When you own your own business you tend to earn more than those who don’t
  • And even if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean you are a failure because you can potentially earn almost as much when you get back into the work force

What this means is that you need to take all of your valid concerns and worries about owning your own business and put them to rest while you seriously get to work. If all you do is think about starting your business, without ever even trying because of scenarios you’ve created in your mind, you need to STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

Friedman goes on to list some other key points from Manso’s study including the concept that becoming an entrepreneur is one of the most rational decisions a woman could make and failing is not nearly as bad as you might imagine. In fact it would be irrational NOT to feed your desires of owning your own business. And I look at “failure” as a part of becoming successful because what you learn from it is what will help you get back up and try again.

The same sentiment works in a lot of different areas of your life actually.

Like when it comes to love for instance and coping with life after a breakup. Boy those are just the best times of your life, huh ladies? Sadness, anger, confusion, contempt; those are just the tip of the ice burg when it comes to the emotions you feel when things come to an end.

The piece How I Moved On from Someone Who Fell Out of Love over on femalenetwork.com paints a vivid picture of those emotions and how they can wreak havoc for weeks, months, and even years if you let them. It’s understandable that years of your life can’t just be forgotten along with all the emotions and experiences they provided. I really, really know.

It feels unbelievably awful and time can help you get passed it, but that doesn’t mean that time can’t come sooner. Surround yourself with the family and friends still in your life who love you dearly and whatever you do never stop loving them or yourself while you heal.

Just because one person on the planet has decided they don’t want to be a part of your life anymore does not mean you should let their decision haunt you forever either. I understand that at one point you probably pictured your whole life with them, and it’s almost impossible to un-imagine that right now. But eventually you must release your mind from asking questions that have no answer.

Instead, realize that closure is not a given, but that you can do things to bring about the sense of peace that person robbed you of. Start doing things you always wanted to try, read books, write anything, take yourself on dates, and start embracing this new chapter of your life. It’s a learning process and will certainly take time, but once you start to feel whole again it will get easier.

To help feed your soul and give you some inspiration no matter what is going on in your life, here are some quotes by one of my favorite actors of all time, the late Robin Williams. I particularly like his thoughts on being alone, and how it doesn’t compare to ending up with, “people who make you feel alone.”

However you go about starting your day, following your dreams, or working through your emotions, I wish you the best ladies. Just remember that you can find the strength you need right there inside you to get past anything, you just have to want it.

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