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Is your partner always forgetting appointments you make together? It’s frustrating, right? But don’t despair: today we’ll look at how to remember appointments and you can share these ideas with him.
Does this sound familiar? You told him your cousin’s wedding was on January 5th. He knows your cousin’s wedding is on January 5th, so why is it January 3rd, and he still hasn’t taken the day off of work?
His answer: “You never told me about a wedding!”
While it can be frustrating having a man who is forgetful, there are some great ways to get him to remember things – even your anniversary.
First, it is important to understand why your partner is forgetting these dates. Sure you wrote it on the calendar, in red, and underlined it, four times, but does he ever look at that calendar?
Is he over-stressed at work? It is common for people to become forgetful when they have a lot on their minds.
No matter why he is forgetting important or not-so-important events, there are a few things you can work on to strengthen his memory. Check out these five ways to activate his memory and get him back on track while you help yourself handling these frustrating situations.
Table of Contents
How To Remember Appointments
#1) Have Patience
I know how frustrating it is to hear the words: “You never told me about that!”, especially when you know for a fact that you told him, at least twice. However, it is essential to keep a level demeanor in these situations.
Attacking someone for forgetting something important does not help resolve the issue. Make sure you understand his situation.
Sometimes, the things we find important are not the same things our partners find important. However, when it comes to remembering birthdays and anniversaries, his forgetfulness might not be about priorities. He may just forget because he isn’t good at remembering dates or numbers.
Keep your head on your shoulders, and work with him to resolve the situation.
#2) Give Him the Benefit of the Doubt
Do not automatically assume that he is forgetting things on purpose. Moreover, don’t assume that he isn’t listening to you. He could honestly be forgetting.
Understand his situation. Make sure you are effectively communicating with him. This will help you get a greater understanding of what makes him tick.
#3) Create a Calendar
He might ignore the calendar hanging up in the kitchen (though THIS whiteboard appointment maker might help). It is common for people to walk past the kitchen calendar as though it is just a decoration on the wall.
With technology, creating a calendar is simple and very handy. Find his favorite electronic device. Make sure it is something that he sees every day. If the first thing he does when he gets home pulls out his tablet, use the calendar tool to save the important dates.
The same goes for his laptop. If he’s not a techy type, he definitely has a phone. Every phone has a built-in calendar.
No matter what electronic calendar he uses, make sure you work with him to set all of the important dates throughout the year, and every time a major event comes up, have him add it to the calendar.
The great thing about these electronic calendars is that you can schedule notifications (a message pops up for your partner) one day, one hour, or any selected amount of time before the event takes place.
When the calendar dings, he will be reminded about the event or important date that is coming up.
#4) Memory Markers
Sometimes, memory works against him. How many times have you heard, “Oh, no! I thought that was next week!”?
Get rid of that by giving him memory markers to help him remember exact dates. One great trick for doing this is to get him to associate an event with something he likes.
For example, you might say, “The Steelers are playing the Bears on the Thursday before my cousin’s wedding. I was thinking we could watch the game, then pack up for the hotel we booked.”
This will help him by making him associate your cousin’s wedding with something he easily remembers: football games.
Teach him to associate important dates with other things. For example, “Our wedding anniversary always falls on or before Labor Day weekend! I love having three full dates to celebrate with you.”
Here you are showing him that something he might feel pressure for is actually a good thing that leads to a real relaxing event.
#5) The Friendly Reminder
Repeat after me: “It isn’t nagging if he doesn’t remember.”
Don’t get angry and yell at him. Instead, let him know during dinner that there are only three more weeks left before your cousin’s wedding.
Keep talking about it. Say something like, “I finally went shopping for a gift for my cousin’s wedding! I can’t believe it’s only two weeks away!”
Memory and repetition go hand-in-hand. You don’t have to remind him every day that your cousin’s wedding is coming up. However, it is a good idea to remind him once in a while. This will help him keep that important date on his mind.
He is forgetful, but you love him anyway. Yes, it can be frustrating when he forgets important dates and events. Don’t get overwhelmed! Stay patient, and work with him to resolve the issues with memory that he has. What are some great ways you helped your partner remember important dates and events? Share with us in the comments below!
I just leave notes on the refrigerator for my husband. I also try to remember that I am forgetful sometimes, too, so I can’t come down on him too hard.
I have the same problem and we leave sticky notes or we will email reminders to one another. It is not because we don’t care that we forget, we just always have a lot of things going on and sometimes a reminder is better than forgetting.
I am the forgetful partner, and without constant reminders, things will fall out of my head. Leaving notes and reminders is necessary for me to keep track of things. I absolutely don’t fault my husband for it–I appreciate it.
Sticky notes are quite possibly the best invention ever! We also use dry erase markers. You can write on a mirror with them and simply wipe the message away.
I love the idea about associating something with something he likes. My husband thinks about football all the time. This trick just might work. He surely knows their schedule.
I do forget things from time to time. Who doesn’t? We seem to be running here and there all the time. I have a big wall calender in my kitchen. I write on it as soon as I know there is something going on.
Have you seen the Boogie Boards before? We have two of those at both of the main doors in our house and we love them. Easier to deal with than sticky notes, last longer than dry erase markers and are super simple.