Image by: wilhei
By Vanessa Green
When my 9-year relationship with my ex ended, my life was a total wreck. Every day, I battled with my feelings of shame, worthlessness and resentment. It made me feel wiped out and drained.
I didn’t tell anyone about it and just kept everything to myself. I didn’t want people to judge me or perceive me as weak so I decided to suppress it, bury it, and just move on.
Gaining control of yourself by battling your emotions is not a good idea.
As a consequence, it became infectious and spread rapidly to the other areas of my life.
At work, I couldn’t perform at my best like I used to. I was distracted by my emotions and I couldn’t focus on accomplishing my tasks. I became stubborn and insensitive and I treated my friends and the people around me really bad.
The burden felt heavier each day. Until one night, I felt a surge of dark force accompanied by an outburst of negative thoughts. It was telling me to go out there, get drunk, party hard and just let a stranger take me home.
So, I called my best friend and asked him to accompany me to the club. He immediately said yes.
When we let our emotions overflow, it makes us abandon our reasoning.
However, instead of taking me to the club, we headed far away from the city. I was confused but I trusted him so I just let him drive.
He carried me to a nice beach, bought a couple of drinks and stayed with me the whole night without asking me anything.
I was so moved by his actions I just started to cry. I decided to tell him everything, my pain, my rage and my regrets. He just listened until sunrise.
After that, I felt so much better. Though the load was still there, it wasn’t as heavy as before. I was back in my senses and was determined to deal with my issue mindfully.
On our way back to the city, I knew in my heart that everything would be alright. Our friendship reminded me of my strength and that I didn’t have to face my problems alone.
When you let your emotions take over, you’re giving them the power to run the show until you become their slave.
In effect, it will dictate your thoughts and control your actions. You will stop thinking; you will become irrational and act impulsively.
In “Traveling Won’t Heal Your Heartbreak, But It Will Teach You to Love Again,” Lauren Breedlove tells a story on how traveling solo provided her the opportunity to rediscover herself.
Take a moment to review your emotions instead of indulging them or just rejecting them right away.
Sometimes, all we need is a little escape to turn off the bad memories that have been playing in our minds, as well as a space to breathe and time to think.
Improve your situation by planning the best course of action.
Sometimes, when people are sad and depressed, they act compulsively without really thinking about the consequences. They tend to seek comfort in something that gives them temporary relief, like shopping.
As a result, they become addicted to the short-term satisfaction until they lose control of their behavior and end up in financial turmoil.
Writer Kathy Mather provides 4 ways to break a shopping addiction before you get into debt.
So, instead of feeding your negative emotions, change your circumstances by taking control, making little changes, and adjusting your lifestyle.
Be patient. Forcing things out obsessively will only make your more frustrated.
One of my friends tried crash dieting after her ex-boyfriend left her for a skinny girl. She restricted her meal plan to 500 calories per day. Needless to say, it wreaked havoc on her body.
You see ladies; weight loss is not just about starving yourself and cutting back on all food. It’s about balance and getting enough of everything, rest, sleep, vitamins and minerals. It is all about health, quality of life and longevity.
To have a healthy body, Patrick Cole suggests eating 5 times a day to lose weight.
The biggest challenge in this type of diet is eating more than you should, so you have to plan your healthy meals in advance.
We can choose to let our griefs, angers, or sorrows put us down or we can decide to let them empower us and give us peace and clarity.
Pursuing our ambitions or following our dreams can be in trouble when we think we are doing everything to make things happen and get no results.
Monica Beatrice Welburn has a very interesting insight about subjecting yourself to great pressure in order to achieve your goals in her piece “Why the Big City isn’t Necessarily Where Dreams Are Made.”
Sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that there are certain things in this life that are not for everyone. However, you can always change your approach and modify your perspective.
Realize that your happiness should not be based on a specific location, nor does it have to depend on one person or a certain thing.
Ladies, your emotions can empower you to change your circumstances. Instead of letting your thoughts get the better of you, try examining your feelings rationally. Being more mindful will give you a sense of stability and inner peace.