Image by: Ghostboy
By H. Daniels
When it comes to wedding, there is enough to stress about without having to listen to marriage advice from your drunk Uncle Ted who has been married four times already. Let me give you the best advice that I’ve ever heard about marriage: Don’t forget to breathe. In fact, why don’t we do that right now. Take a nice deep breath in and slowly let it out. Feel better?
I’ve heard a lot of marriage advice in my time. I’ve been a bridesmaid a few times and had my fair share of relationships that I’m just going to dub, “learning experiences.” I’ve also found someone that I’m going to love spending the rest of my life with.
The thing about marriage advice the really annoys me is that everyone takes it so seriously. Sure, marriage can be serious business but marriage can be fun too. So, in light of that, I’d like to offer up some funny marriage advice that I’ve come across. The best part: it’s all true and it all works.
#1) ”The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.” – Peter De Vries
When you get married you may be thinking, “Yay! I did it! Now all that changing and chaos is over.” I’m sorry to say that’s not true at all. Marriage is just a way for you to find a partner-in-crime. Your chaos days aren’t over at all.. Just because you’re married, that doesn’t mean that there’s a pretty little bow on it and it’ll stay like this moment forever. A marriage is just like any other relationship, they change and evolve.
#2) ”A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous.” – Ingred Bergmen
You shouldn’t forget to kiss each other every day, no matter what kind of mood you are in or if he “forgot” to help you with the dishes or kept you up all night snoring. It’s the little things (like your kisses) that you’re going to miss when you can’t have it anymore. So take advantage of what you do have and kiss him like it’s your last day on earth.
#3) ”Make sure you agree on how you’re going to live your crotchety years together.”
That one was from a friend (a long time ago) and it’s been my favorite. You should be able to spend those years of your life doing what you want. You’ve earned it. So make sure that the man you marry will want to spend his retirement years in the same way or at least make sure to compromise.
#4) ”We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love.”
This is a fantastic quote because it is true. We are all unique people with various different quirks. The key to finding love is to find someone whose quirks and “uniqueness” matches yours. It doesn’t need to match yours perfectly but you should be able to appreciate each other’s quirks. Remember, you will be spending the rest of your life with that person.
#5) ”None of us want to grow up to be our parents but we do. So watch out – you just married your in-laws.”
I love my parents and won’t mind adapting some of their traits (that I didn’t appreciate when I was younger). You’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to turn into your mom and that your man will turn into his mom and/or dad. Do you think you can handle that?
#6) ”A happy woman marries the man she loves; a happier woman loves the man she marries.”
We all change during the course of our relationships. Sometimes the change is for the better and sometimes the change is for the worst. You and your man will go through your fair share of transformations. The key is to be there for each other while you do. Look at your man now, what kind of changes can you picture (and I don’t mean physically)?
If you were to morph his personality with his parents, what would you get? Do you think you can live with that for the rest of your life?
These funny marriage advice tips can be humorous or frightening (it depends on how you look at them) but they are one thing no matter how you look at it: true. Your man will turn into his parents. You will change. You will have to live with him, even when he’s a crotchety old man. But just think, he is your crotchety old man and you can both tell the “young whipper snappers” to “get off my lawn” together.
I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that the things we end up hating about the person we love are the very things that made us fall in love with them in the first place. I think it’s important to keep in mind that whatever cute little habit(s) he has now may turn out to be irritants later on. And, oftentimes, it’s the little irritants that are the foundation for big fights and problems.
These bits of advice are funny, but there is definitely some truth in each of them. I like number 3. It seems like a lot of couples don’t know what to do with each other once the children move out or after they retire. It can be a huge transition.
I enjoyed reading this post. It holds a lot of truth and wisdom. You must adjust to make any relationship last. People grow in various directions. The bit about marrying your in-laws is so true. I look at my husband’s father and I get depressed as my husband is starting to mimic his behavior.
I really enjoyed this too. So many insightful and true words! I wish everyone read this and really believed it before they got married. Marriages take work just like everything else in life.
#4 best describes my relationship with my husband. We have both always said that God had to have created us for each other because no one else would be crazy enough to put up with us.
Heavens, I hope I’ve not married my in-laws! What an awful thought. They are nice enough, but not who I want to be as I grow older. Surely this isn’t always the pattern?
You are so right. If only we could all take a moment to remember why we fell in love, then perhaps we wouldn’t get so annoyed at little things or try to change our partners. I told my kids to take note of the little things and never let them turn into big things.
I don’t think so. My husband lost his father when he was nine, but from what I understand he isn’t much like his dad and he is definitely the polar opposite of his mother. I think some people do manage to break the mold.
Compatible weirdness is a good way to describe what works in a marriage. Everybody brings something different to the table. You better make sure that you like the specifics that your partner is bringing. That means you need to know him or her inside out. And you sort of do marry your in-laws. People almost always resemble their parents in aesthetic terms at a bare minimum.
They sure do. You have to keep the spark in your relationship. You also have to give a little each day. Spending time together and learning to love all those little things that could drive you crazy.
Number four also describes my marriage perfectly! I don’t know if there is anyone else in the world who would put up with either one of us! We are the only couple I know who loves spending so much time together, and can do so without getting on each others nerves