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“I screw up all the time,” the voice in my head told me after I broke up with my BF 5 years ago. It doesn’t make sense keeping count of all the idiots I’ve encountered in my life.
Well, I wish I had regrets making a fool out of myself during those heavily-clouded days of my life but to be honest, I really don’t. In fact, I’m happy of what I’ve become after overcoming a series of bad romances and lousy decisions.
But it wasn’t easy. At first, I thought I’d never learn to forgive myself and get over everything, but I did.
One thing my terrible experiences taught me is that I can never rely on anyone to fix my life for me. No one can help me except myself.
Ladies, you may be able to seek short-time happiness from other people but at the end of the day, when you lie in bed alone, you have no choice but to learn to love the only person there with you.
And because life is too short to waste your time and other people’s time, here are 4 ways not to mess up your existence and live vibrantly.
Take love seriously.
Don’t let your relationships die of neglect. Never stop feeding the flame and always let your partner feel that they are loved and appreciated.
The piece “5 Things My Ex-Husband Could Have Done to Save Our Marriage” by Audrey Cade shares ways on how you can strengthen your relationships and prevent it from falling apart.
Experience life and grow together. Dance to the same beat and stay under the same sun; and always be supportive of each other’s interests and passions.
Also, stop keeping score. Don’t keep tab of your sacrifices and don’t count your partner’s shortcomings and past mistakes as well. The only figure that is useful to put in your chart is the number of reasons why you love your partner.
Learn to maintain a healthy balance between your personal and professional life.
Whether you’re married or still single, this practice would bring balance in your life.
According to a study titled “Work in Progress,” 78% percent of waking hours on a workday are spent actively working or thinking about work.
This means that on average, we only spend 22% of our waking hours doing personal things like taking a break, doing things we love and spending quality time with our loved ones.
The intrusion of work in your private time and vice versa can easily result to frustrations and conflicts. Now, more than ever, it is crucial to set boundaries and define work-life borders to avoid messing up your life.
When I’m working, I try really hard to eliminate the distractions around me so I can give my full attention in accomplishing my tasks. I stay away from FB, IG and Twitter; and just keep the number of times I check my email to a minimum.
I also have two phones, one for work and one for personal use. The first one is always off whenever I’m taking a day off and spending time with my family.
If these tips don’t work for you, you’re free to try other ways to manage your time and space. The options out there are endless. You just have to think responsibly and willfully.
Take good care of yourself. Too much of anything is harmful.
Too many complicated affairs, too many heartaches and shattered dreams – your earthly body and your heart can only endure so much pain.
Even the simplest things in life, if not done in good measure, can be extremely damaging like playing games on your smartphones.
Ladies, did you know that looking down at your cellphone for extended periods of time puts an extreme amount of force on your neck and spine, equivalent to carrying an 8-year-old boy on your head?
However, I understand that getting rid of your phone is probably not an option. So, the best thing you can do to avoid damaging yourself is to hold your phone straight in front of you instead of bending your head down. You can also place your device at a 30 degree angle when typing and keep your neck back rather than forward when checking messages.
Understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Widen your perspective and be receptive in recognizing your need for change.
Don’t let your ego work against you; instead be considerate to others. Harbor some sense of empathy and compassion to drive positive connection and selfless satisfaction.
Anger and resentment in your heart will only break you and keep your wounds fresh for as long as you live. Heal yourself by choosing to let go of grudges, learning how to forgive, and showing kindness to others.
To help you heal without judgement, check this out – “I’m a Yoga Teacher: Here’s How I Let Go of My Negative Emotions in My Practice.”
It’s entirely up to you how you want to run your life. You can choose to inflict wounds on yourself and learn life lessons the hard way or you can decide to live a more peaceful and meaningful life by following the tips above. I hope you choose the latter.
It’s true that we shouldn’t neglect our relationships, but isn’t there a possibility that for a relationship to fall into questionable status which is closer to neglect, it means that the couple is just not meant to be? When the feelings are lost, there is not much to save.
I completely agree with the writer. If we do not make happiness for ourselves, we cannot expect anyone else to do it. Too many women have such low self-esteem that they allow themselves to get in relationships that are poison to them. However, if we value ourselves and realize how important our happiness is, we might do a better job of picking the perfect mate.
Interesting point of view. I think the point that the writer is trying to make is to consider all relationships important until you can no longer handle it. If we don’t take the relationship seriously from the beginning, it’s easier to fail because the foundation is frail.
I’ve just started work at new place, and I feel like I screw up even simplest things I do. Reading this, I probably push myself a bit too much. Everything takes time. I can’t let my emotions control me. It’s important to slow down, learn from mistakes, and balance out my life once again. Thanks a lot for the post!
You bring out a really important point. I think a couple should learn from the disagreements that arise and make the relationship something to look forward to every other time. Most relationships get to the point of neglect as a result of big egos. I have learned to listen to my partner and not remind him of his past mistakes, no matter how heated an argument might get.