Image by: Skitterphoto
By Anne Cacherell
Going through a breakup is usually a stressful experience. It’s one of those emotional moments where we cry because we feel hurt for losing the person we love, or we feel guilty because we didn’t do our best, or we get angry because of betrayal. This grieving period is different for every woman.
However, I think that my friend Meagan’s reaction was far from normal.
Maegan’s relationship status was sporadic in nature and whenever one would come to an end, regardless of who initiated the split, she would be fine within 3 days, as if nothing happened.
She also seemed to have the ability to just completely erase the memory of the person. Within the first 48 hours of the breakup, she would delete all photos and messages of her ex-BF from her phone and block his number, too. She just cuts them off from her life without a second thought.
For the past three years, Maegan has jumped from one relationship to another, totalling about 6 now.
When she was seven years old, her father had a brief affair with his secretary that resulted in her parent’s divorce. Five years later her mother remarried and moved out of the country. She was left under the care of her grandparents.
Growing up in a broken home, she didn’t have any visible scars, but deep inside she battled with insecurity and depression. At an early age, she came to believe that not feeling anything is a sign of strength.
Though she had a longing for romantic companionship, she had a hard time making it happen. She couldn’t respect and trust a man completely. Compromise is an alien idea for her as well. It’s either you’re the right man for her or you could just back off and go to hell.
Her last relationship seemed to be an act of desperation though because she was never with such a loser before. I didn’t see any logical reason for her to be with this guy, but I could feel that she was trying to make things work.
I was glad when it finally ended, but this time she reacted differently and cried a river. It wasn’t because she loved him, but because she was just so tired of all her trial and error relationships.
I advised her to take a break from everything and invited her to join me in my yoga class, which she seriously considered.
She has been practicing yoga for almost 6 months now and it helped her walk out slowly from the shadows of her depression. Her focus is on herself now and not in finding a new relationship.
It will take more time for her to heal completely, but I know for sure that she’ll get there a little bit at a time.
The best things in life come to us slowly.
When we rush things, we tend to lose ourselves, our values, and our common sense on the way. In effect, we make bad decisions and end up in pain.
Also, there are certain things in life that are not meant to be rushed like love.
Love takes a significant amount of time to grow and heal.
Don’t forget that even in fairytales, happy endings take place on the last page. So, stop rushing and just enjoy the journey.
Also, there are certain issues that we can’t possibly solve overnight so we can’t just sprint out and fix everything.
“Why We Fall Out of Love (And How to Stop the Cycle)” by Margaret Paul encourages us to work on healing our relationships instead of just choosing to give up.
Reverse your body’s reaction to negative emotions by reprogramming your thoughts.
Mindful pause relaxes our minds, helps us discover our repressed emotions and connects us to peaceful perspective. Clearing out the distractions in your head can be frustrating, but every minute is worth it.
For first time meditators, this article written by Kathryn Budig will enlighten you about the benefits of having a daily meditation routine – “Why I Meditate.”
Whenever we rush through life, we also run the risk of messing up big time.
Sometimes, we need to take it slow in order to give ourselves a chance to think and review our decisions, or at least allow things to sink in before we execute our next step.
This piece by Jen Glantz presents us a perfect scenario – “I’ll be Your Bridesmaid – But I won’t Spend More Than $250.” It also contains good insights about setting our priorities so we won’t miss out on other important things.
Time creates beauty.
So, take your time preppin’ girl because beauty can’t be rushed! Patience is the key to awesomeness. So, look your best by considering all opportunities available.
A simple act of slowing down is a quiet strength. It brings back the balance in our lives. It makes us more contemplative, considerate and energized in dealing with roadblocks that get in our way.