Image by: tangi bertin
By Vanessa Green
When I was young and still dependent on my parents, I understood that I didn’t have any say in the living conditions that they set for me. So, I always made it a point to obey their rules and do the things that would please them and make them happy. But as I got older and matured, and become capable of making my own decisions, my parents allowed me to choose the terms on how I would live my life. They never interfered with who I wanted to have relationship with or whatever career path I wanted to pursue.
I know that not all people are as lucky as me when it comes to having parents who understand and trust them completely. However, this doesn’t mean that I’ve never had my share of toxic people in my life who had nothing better to do than to try and bring me down.
In life, there will always be people who will threaten and sabotage your growth and happiness. They are the people who think you can’t be any better than them, who can’t stand the sight of seeing you happy and who don’t want to see you improve because thier own lives are crap. For whatever reasons they may have, learning how to deal with them is crucial to your health, success and happiness.
Here are ways to manage and remove these difficult people from your life without stooping down to their level and sacrificing your class.
Walk Away From Them
Toxicity tolerance is different for each person. So, when having them around you is really making you sick and is affecting your mood badly every single day, one of your options is to cut them out of your life. Walk away from them. Let them live their life and you live yours.
In love, for instance, I don’t understand why so many women stay in an unhappy relationships just because of the fear of being single. They know exactly what hurts them and they know where to draw the line, it’s just that they are scared at the thought of perpetual loneliness that can be the single life.
Here are some of the things that you should keep in mind so you won’t fear clearing path to a new phase of your life:
• The feeling that you’ve let the wrong person go doesn’t indicate that you’ll miss out on a lifetime of happiness.
• Letting go of someone that only brings you down helps you eliminate insecurities and negative voices in your head telling you that you’re not good enough and unworthy of true love.
• A relationship is not a textbook you can study or memorize overnight. Therefore, staying doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be able to figure it all out or fix it all by yourself.
Ladies, you won’t be able to make peace with yourself, forgive yourself and believe in yourself when you’re halfhearted about it or when someone is holding you back from being whole and happy. So, let go. Take a bow and walk away gracefully.
Here’s a harsh truth: Toxicity is contagious even in kind and well-adjusted people. In your workplace, for instance, there are people who can disrupt your business growth and success. If you’re the one running your company, one of your primary obligations is to manage them well before they create problems for your team and for your brand.
To do that, you should set a good example with your employees. Be objective by consistently acknowledging their accomplishments, providing them transparent feedback about their performance, and by being fair with their workloads and avoiding favoritism.
To enlighten you more in creating the right environment for the right people, check this out – “5 Toxic People Who Will Stunt Your Business Growth.”
Grow in Presence
One of the best ways to determine the best course of action to manage those difficult people in your life is to grow your mental strength. Find practices that calm you, allow you to clarify your mind and body from the inside, and give you patience to create positive change.
Dr. William Cole suggests starting a consistent mindfulness meditation to find your inner strength and bring peace in your life. The movement and breathing of yoga can help release your negative energy and heal your spirit.
When you keep on saying sorry for the things that are not your fault, you put yourself in a submissive place which gives people an impression that you don’t deserve to be respected. It takes away your right to feel offended, to get hurt or to express yourself. You’re also letting those people take advantage of you and not take ownership and responsibility for their actions.
So, do yourself a favor. Refrain from taking blame for the things that are not your fault. Stop saying sorry just to please people. Instead, save your “sorry” when a real apology is warranted. Replace your apologies with more fully formed and honest sentiments that allow you to express what you need to express and own power in a situation.