Image by: Leidolv Magelssen
By Julie Redwood
All intimate relationship are based on 4 or more key principles: communication, trust, boundaries and respect. When a couple has those things in tact, then the relationship is sure to blossom.
Sometimes when we break the rules or someone does something that doesn’t align with these core principles, this is where trouble can seep in. On the upside, if you have a solid relationship built on a healthy foundation, these issues should easily be smoothed over.
We all make mistakes and as perfect as we’d like our partner to be, they’re only human. When communicating with your significant other, there are certain things that should be discussed to ensure that the principles of trust, respect and boundaries aren’t overstepped. On a another level, couples who communicate on deeper topics, prove to be overall more happy than those that discuss less important issues.
So if you’re relationship is rocky, then maybe a heart-to-heart is just what it needs for the two of you to connect again. Here are some things that all happy couples discuss.
It’s nice that your partner is a strong man, but what’s even more sexy is that he isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Skip the petty talk and have a conversation about your biggest fears or embarrassments and compare stories.
If you can’t open up about your biggest fears to your man, then who can you tell them to? Getting to know each other’s past is a surefire way not to repeat it and it let’s you know that he’s just a gentle giant after all.
It’s usually said to not discuss politics or religion in mixed company, but in a relationship, there’s an exception. If you plan to spend your life with the person you’re with, then discussing political and religious beliefs is kind of important.
I’m not saying you have to wholeheartedly agree on everything he thinks, but you should have some common grounds in what you believe. Discussing each other’s viewpoints is healthy, but it doesn’t necessarily have to involve a fight.
Maybe you believe in equality for all while he thinks that gay people shouldn’t be allowed to vote. It’s completely up to you how you manage the topic, but you should at least reach an understanding.
#3) Growing Up
Our childhoods have molded us into the people that we are today, so a big part of beginning a new relationship is to talk about what life was like as a child. Maybe he was bullied or abused growing up, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he will turn out to be that way himself, but if he has particular sensitivities when you take playful jabs at him, it helps to understand where he is coming from.
On a lighter note, if he was the class clown who always liked to play pranks on the family, you may learn that he got it from his dad or if he has an easy-going personality, that it came from his mom. Whatever took place as a kid, it can be a fun way to learn about what molded him into who he is now.
#4) Past Relationships
Discussing past relationships takes more tact because although you would like to learn about the type of lover he is, you also don’t really want to hear fond memories of his ex. Past relationships that didn’t necessarily work out can help us in our future relationship. It teaches us what not to do and what to do when we meet “the one.”
There should also be a discernment between acknowledging what took place in the past vs. loving memories that you will cherish forever. You don’t want to have to compete with someone who isn’t in his life anymore.
What does he like to do? What’s his favorite television show? Who is the worst singer? These are all fun questions to ask when you are just getting to know a person. Sometimes, you may learn a lot. Your love for Keeping Up With the Kardashians might be met with a grimace, but what about his obsession with Green Arrow?
A television show or musical tastes should never make or break a romance but it’s nice to figure out compromises on what suits the relationship. After all, it’s really the fantasy and the characters that we are drawn to in movies, not so much how good looking the actor is, although that is a plus.
Couples who seem to effortlessly relate to each other understand their differences. Communication plays and important part in understanding each other. By getting to know your partner, you might learn things you never even dreamed about him or her and that is why communication is of the utmost importance.
Please tell us what you think! Do you and your partner communicate like you should? Do you find that your interests are vastly different from each other? If so, does it help or impede your relationship? We would like to hear from you!