6 Tips For How Not to Freak Out When It’s Time to Move In Together

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aaamoveImage by: TheMuuj
By Bailey Campbell

Well, it’s that time…time to move in together. This transition is always an interesting experience and can be the best one you have made, or the worst. Here are some ways to prepare for living together that will help make the transition and actual habitation process as smooth as possible.

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#1) Be Absolutely Sure About It

The first thing to keep in mind when you’re getting ready to move in together is to make sure that you are doing it for the absolute right reasons. If there is any feeling of pressure involved (or sleepless nights stressing out about it), it might not be the right amount. Of course the experience can be a scary one since it is a huge change, but overall the good parts of it should outweigh the stress. Put it this way, your life should be getting better not worse.

For a lot of people moving in together just happens since couples tend to spend a lot of time sleeping at each others houses anyway. The difference is that after a sleepover you always have the option of returning to your place, whether you need a moment of peace, quiet away from his dog, or you guys fight a lot and need space. Don’t move in together because it seems like you’re already living together, without weighing out the real considerations.

#2) Talk About What it Means For Your Relationship

Before you guys move in together you should have a clear conversation about what it means for your relationship. Does it mean that you’re just cutting down on your individual rents and cable bills? Does it mean that you’re planning on getting married next year? Don’t assume one way or another, make sure that your heads are in the same place before you end up in a new house and an unfamiliar version of your relationship.

Moving in with someone in an effort to try and keep them isn’t a great plan either. It’s not going to guarantee anything, they can still break up with you if you’re sleeping under the same roof. The same way that someone can still divorce you, just easier. Hopefully moving in won’t lead to a breakup, but just be aware the normal good behavior applies no matter how committed it seems like you guys are.

#3) Discuss Finances In Advance

Don’t wait until you’re living together to figure out the money situation is working. Rent is fairly simple if you’re both going to be saving money on a lower split rent, but if you’re upgrading it’s important to figure out just how much you’ll owe. If your bills are going to go up that’s another thing to consider. And then there’s everything to figure out about who pays for food, cleaning supplies, and literally everything else in the house. This isn’t your average roommate we’re dealing with here.

#4) Have Some Boundaries

You might think you know what it’s like to live with him, but you are going to discover all kinds of other things once you’re actually living together. It’s important for you both to be able to communicate about your needs and wants. If one of you is more messy than the other, someone might have to compromise about how often the dishes get done. If you need to work at home you’ll have to figure out a schedule where he’s not going to be playing video games in the same room at the same time.

#5) Be Willing to Compromise A Lot

Moving in together means melding together two lives, and that includes everything from schedules to furniture. He might want to do strange things to the living room that you hate and he might want to trash your favorite cozy couch. Breathe. Keep in mind that you should both feel at home and comfortable in the shared space, even if one of you had been living there for a long time previously. Just because it’s been your apartment for years doesn’t mean he doesn’t get a say in what happens now that he’s joining in.

And of course the opposite is true. If someone isn’t willing to make sacrifices to make you happy, then they might not be as ready for the move in as they thought.

#6) Keep Your Own Personal Freedom

Moving in together means a lot is going to change and you might have to do some more communicating than normal, but it also means that you should be working hard to keep your independence as well. You’re never going to be the same person and the healthiest relationships allow for both people to thrive and grow individually as well as together. Any stifling is eventually going to snuff a relationship right out.

Are you getting ready to move in with your man? Excited or scared? A little of both? Let us know if any of these tips helped you get ready for the move!

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