Image by: net_efekt
By Bailey Campbell
Being in the dating game for too long without settling into the perfect relationship can feel a little tiring after a while. If it’s high on your list of life choices to be in a relationship, than surely you might start to question just what is going wrong in your quest. Don’t let your inner questions start to get you down however, instead focus on everything that you’ve learned and what you have achieved so far on your journey.
#1) Consider it a Crucial Lesson (That You Survived)
Every lesson learned about what you don’t want in a relationship is going to get you closer to what you do want in a relationship, so consider every step you’ve made along the way a crucial one for your path and just accept it. It isn’t going to be the most fun thing to think about why you got so clingy to that one guy who you knew deep down wasn’t the one anyway, but the process of moving through it might allow you to resist the urge to cling when you do find the one.
Same goes for any time you had a problem opening up to someone, standing up for yourself, or feeling unsure about why someone broke up with you. No matter how tough it was to go through, if you’re reading this you’re still standing which means you made it through the lesson. Just be sure and be reflective enough so that you don’t end up repeating it too many times.
#2) You Know Exactly What You Don’t Want
Hey there is no shame in dating as many people as it takes. For every person that you can confidently walk away from, there is something that you know for sure doesn’t work for you. It is better to be discerning about people than to overlook large differences when you’re blinded by the newness of someone. Just be aware of the difference between judgement and discernment.
Be open to different types of people, but keep looking for the people that share your core values. When you are confident about why you want a certain thing, the right people will come looking for you. You might not know that you don’t want a man with a certain habit or value system unless you spent the time getting to know one, so just consider that a job well done and a spot that you can move forward from.
#3) Your Communication Skills Are On Point
All that dating means you’ve done a ton of talking, and nothing can prepare you for chatting up the right guy like chatting with a bunch of the wrong ones. Communication skills are learned and they evolve over time. We all have our individual weaker points in our communication skills, whether it’s just not listening well, interrupting, or not thinking of answers to questions we’ve been asked until a few hours later when we think back through conversations in our head.
Often in a dating situation the pressure can be on, which highlights any of those weaknesses in communication. So if you’re not used to being under that pressure it can throw you off a bit. But the good thing about dating a lot is that you totally get used to that process and a lot of the nerves can totally melt away. Plus, when you’re dating people casually that you’re not real invested in it can be easier to get used to relaxing and being a casual chatter anyway. That can carry on into the rest of your life as well.
#4) You’re Self-Sufficient
Let’s be honest, lots of dating the wrong people gives us plenty of time to get to know ourselves and handle any business that needs to be handled in our day to day life as well as our emotional growth. There’s nothing wrong with not being with the love of your life, and often we need some time to become the person we’re supposed to be before we can truly find the person we’re supposed to spend the rest of our life with.
Whether that happens while you are totally alone or it happens while you are dating other people, it’s all for the best! It’s great to have people around who can help us out when we need it…but it can also be important to learn how to do things for ourselves. And then whatever comes next will only add to our wholeness. Who knows why we have to go through certain learning curves in life, but we can always use the opportunities to come out on top as a better version of ourselves than we were before.
Do you feel like you’ve learned a lot from the dating process or does it feel more discouraging to you to constantly be a part of it? Let us know why you love it or the coping tactics you use if you don’t!