Image by: taymtaym
By Anne Cacherell
Unlike the legendary vampires that feast on blood, an emotional vampire is someone who feeds on positive energy and emotions of people they come in contact with. They come in all shapes and sizes and they have the insidious ability to create toxic relationships. It only takes an hour for them to destroy an upbeat mood and make the whole room feel down, depressed and totally wiped-out.
However, these optimism-suckers are clueless of their self-defeating behaviors. They are not aware that they are mentally and emotionally exhausting people to be with. Testimonies and evidence that support the existence of these delusional beings can be found anywhere, but in case you haven’t encountered one, there’s a great chance that you are one of them.
Below are 3 types of emotional vampires and possible ways to neutralize the negativity in them.
#1) The Bad Lucky
For this person, life is a vicious cycle. She never runs out of major crises to have ruining her life . She’s always having a bad day and is always upset about something. She feels that she’s the main host of the world’s list of grievances and you will always hear her complaining about everything. From her point of view, life is unfair and other people’s lives are way easier compared to hers. “One can only do so much to improve the quality of life,” is the mantra of this ever-helpless individual. The “poor-me” attitude drains the energy of people around them.
#2) The Attention-Seeker
The excessive need for affirmation and engagement in public displays are characters that best describe this 2nd type of emotional vampire. She has the ability of redirecting attention all to herself with her torrential overflow of self-centeredness. In a social gathering, for example, when everyone is having a great time, you might find her talking about the flaws of the event or discussing her pathetic love life while crying. In addition, conversations, regardless if it’s one-on-one or group, are dominated by this person. She loves the spotlight and needs all eyes and all ears on her all the time. She’s the epitome of a real party-pooper.
#3) Miss Misunderstood
Her special ability to rationalize her behaviors and blame others can be very deceptive. When you hear her say, “My boyfriend and I had a fight because he doesn’t understand me and he’s jealous of his best friend,” what she’s really supposed to say is, “My boyfriend and I had a fight because I couldn’t explain to him why I kissed his best friend.” If she feels that you’re not getting her or you don’t want to help her, she will see you as rude and cold. Trying to make this woman realize that she is wrong can be very tedious and challenging because from her perspective, nothing is her fault.
Optimizing Your Life & Dismantling the Negativity
One by one, your friends will start to find ways to avoid you, if you don’t do something about your negative attitude. The only people who will not leave you are the people who are as dysfunctional, superficial and overly dramatic as you. As the modern adage goes, “birds of the same feathers make a good feather duster.” There’s no progress and growth in that type of friendship.
In order to keep real friends in your life, give them a chance to experience the spotlight by trying to sincerely listen as to what they have to say. Pay attention when they’re talking. Make them feel that their issues are also important, not just yours. Also, it would be great if you could find your own special emotional place and quarantine yourself when you feel like airing your negative thoughts. In that way, you can control the spread of bad energy among your friends.
Learn to accept that there are certain uncontrollable variables in life that you can’t do anything about. Focus your energy on the solution instead of the problem. Furthermore, it would help if you start to count your blessings every day. Be grateful of the good things, big or small, that happen to you. Give compliments and don’t expect them to say or do anything in return.
It may be hard at first but if you want to keep it real and if you don’t want to drive your friends away, by all means, do it. But if by chance you still have a lot of excuses after reading this, you probably didn’t get it, so read it all over again.
Are you guilty of being an emotional vampire? If not, how well do you really know yourself? Share with us your testimonies and experiences with these energy-draining individuals.