Image by: Ricardo Liberato
By H. Daniels
First dates are nerve-wracking. That is one of the reasons why being in a relationship is so awesome. You don’t have to worry about the awkward silences of a first date. What should I say? What shouldn’t I say? What should I wear? Oh my gosh, I didn’t shave my legs.
But the problem that we often run into is that we get too comfortable. When we are in a relationship, we have a tendency of letting ourselves hang out just a bit too much. It’s the natural progression of things but it can still be annoying and (quite simply) a turn-off at times.
My parents have been married for nearly forty years. It’s safe to say that they are well past the getting comfortable with each other stage. Despite that, though, they still know how to act when they are on a date with each other.
Date nights are important when you are in a relationship because it helps you keep up the romance. But even though you have been together for the better part of the century, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t offer him the best version of “you.”
#1) Working on a Date
I have been guilty of this numerous times. I’m just lucky that my boyfriend is forgiving and patient. Answering a work phone call or e-mail while you are on a date is a big no-no. This may seem silly when you think about it now but (especially if you work at a high-stress, fast-paced, deadline-oriented job.
Why is it a No-No? My father was a workaholic. While most of the time it isn’t a problem, when he brought work home, it tended to make everyone tense, and my poor dad wouldn’t get a break. You need time off of work to unwind and recoup so you don’t wear yourself out. In other words, this rule is more beneficial for you.
As for the date, you need to show your man that you are 100% there with him, enjoying his company and not the company of your iPhone (or Android, Windows, or whatever phone you have).
How Do I Avoid it? Turn your e-mail notification off (that’s what I do). You can also turn your ringer off and tell your friends or family to text you first if they have an emergency. On some phones, there is an option to only ring for emergency calls. If these aren’t an option, I suggest that you either leave your phone in the car, or turn it off and leave it in your purse (for emergencies).
I don’t care how long you’ve been together. You could have just celebrated your 25th anniversary or you could be going on your first date. Complaining on your date is a bad thing. And if you complain for too long, you might as well just walk home.
Why is it a No-No? Complaining is an undesirable trait, no matter who you are. I’m sure that if Angelina Jolie complained for an entire date, Brad Pitt would be annoyed at her behavior.
He’s not there to hear your opinion of how this soup should taste like this, that waiter should have done this, (insert Charlie Brown Adult Speak here)… Talk about snorefest…
How Do I Avoid It? Things will go wrong: the miso soup is served cold, the sodas could be flat, someone might spill something on your dress, the only table available could be by the restrooms, etc. There is an innumerable amount of things that could go wrong while you are on a date.
The thing to remember is to let it roll off your shoulder. All of those things are small potatoes because you’re not there to interact with the waiter or just to be seated at the best table in the restaurant. You are there to spend some quality time with your man. So show him quality time.
#3) Not All Who Wander…
Don’t let your eyes wander. Although there is less of an occurrence (or at least a “noted occurrence”) of us doing it, we are guilty of that evil deed as well.
Why is the a No-No? Well, how does it make you feel when his eyes are wandering when he’s supposed to be there with you?
How Do I Avoid It?Focus on your man. You’re there with him. Focus on what makes you so attracted to him.
If he does catch your eyes wandering, think about how you would want him to react if you were to catch him doing the same thing. Crack a joke and focus more on him? Remind him that you’ve only got eyes for him? Tell him how handsome he is? Tell him that you’ll buy him dessert? “You’re much better looking than that Neanderthal.” “His shoelaces were untied.”
Date nights are special to me because I get extra dressy and try to be the best girlfriend that I can be. I want him to be proud to have me on his arm when we walk through the restaurant. I want him to see that I am still as in love with him as I was when we first met.