Image by: JLStricklin
By Anabelle Lily
In a recent survey by MillionaireMatch.com, it was determined that millionaire men are much more likely to seek out younger, non-millionaire women in their dating habits. And they are in no shortage of women looking for older, more-established men to date. Also, according to a 2008 AARP poll, almost one-third of women between the ages of 40 and 69 date men who are 10 or more years younger. This shows that both men and women are willing to date people that are much older or younger for various reasons.
These “May-December” romances can be tricky, no matter what the motive. If you are in one, or are considering one, keep just a few things in mind…
Dating Younger men
So why do older some women seek out younger men? It’s probably not what you think. Most older women are not looking for a “boy toy” and, contrary to many misconceptions, it isn’t just about sex. According to statistics, 90% of older women who date younger men want someone with which they can have a real relationship. The younger man has to bring more to the table when they are dating an older woman.
So what is the appeal? Younger men are creative, full of vitality, and adventurous. Best of all, they are less likely to come with emotional baggage. They don’t usually have kids or ex wives to deal with.
Dating Older men
Women date older men for various reasons. Especially when you are young, an older man my have appeal because they don’t play as many games, they are well-established in their lives and careers, and they understand responsibility better than the average 21-year-old. And, let’s just be honest, they know how to please a woman better in bed (for the most part).
#1) Be Confident
Don’t assume that, if you are dating a younger man, he is going to cheat on you with a younger woman. “The assumption that a younger man will inevitably cheat on an older woman is part of the historic nonsense by which women are made to feel fearful, valueless and undesirable,” says dating expert Susan Winter, co-author of Older Women, Younger Men. “If she is fearful, insecure and doubting her merit, she will never be able to accept that her younger man loves her.”
If your man is older, your dating success will come down to being an independent thinker who is brave enough to ignore the negativity of strangers, and even family and friends.
#2) Embrace Your Differences
There are many advantages to dating someone outside of your age group. In many cases, the benefits outweigh the disadvantages enough that the relationship works.
Primarily, dating a younger or older guy gets you out of your comfort zone. It gives you the chance to see the world from the point of view of someone who may have grown up in a different sociological environment. If you date someone older, he might be more insightful than a man your own age. You can benefit from his life experience and wisdom. Dating someone younger might allow you to see things from his more liberal viewpoint. These differences add depth and variety to your life.
The key is this: Don’t focus on these differences as something negative. Sure, he probably has a different worldview, but that can benefit you. Try to learn from each other.
#3) Make Communication a Priority
As in all relationships, open communication is vital. But it is more important when you add in the stress of a generation gap. Of course, no one likes to have the “future” talk, especially when the relationship is new, but if you are dating someone outside of your age group, you should have it as soon as you can.
Make your expectations clear from the very beginning, and make sure you understand his. If you are not on the same page, it will undoubtedly lead to heartbreak down the road. Be honest with him–and yourself! If you are looking for a fling, say it. If you want a long-term commitment, don’t be afraid to tell him. For most couples, “children are the deal-breaker,” says Winter. “That’s usually what it comes down to.”