Image by: Guillaume Paumier
By Rori Raye
So many times, we women are operating under false assumptions about relationships that cause us to feel sad, lonely, and disconnected from our man.
These dangerous relationship myths are so widespread, it’s no wonder so many of us have suffered the sting of heartache. I’m sure you’ll recognize these and the pain they bring. Knowing the real truth I’m about to share is nothing short of love-life changing.
Relationship Myth #1: Giving = Getting
This myth tells us that in order to get more affection and romance from a man, you have to become more affectionate and romantic yourself. So you buy him special gifts, tell him you love him before he tells you, cook him special meals, and offer him a lot of advice and encouragement.
You become a giver, and you believe that, in time, he will reciprocate. While it’s true that every relationship is give and take, the truth is that men don’t fall in love because you’ve given them so much. They don’t stay in love because you’re sacrificing everything for them.
Men fall in love when they are able to give to a woman. They fall in love with you because they can make you happy and nurture you. They fall in love when you take care of yourself and share your emotional experiences with them.
Never give a man more than he’s given you, including expressions of love and encouragement. Hint: Don’t keep telling him you love him when he hasn’t said it to you yet.
Relationship Myth #2: Exclusivity Leads to Commitment and Marriage
This is the most dangerous myth we women have come to believe. From the time we first started dating, we were taught that the way to marriage is to meet a nice man, become his exclusive girlfriend, and that this alone will naturally lead to commitment.
Here’s the shocking truth: What makes a man want to give up his freedom and single status for you has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve given him all your time and emotional energy. That’s right – the very fact that you’re exclusive with him when he hasn’t committed to you yet actually makes a man think less of you.
The moment a man smells that need and desperation that comes from having an unconscious agenda of how things “should be”, his feelings of attraction for you will fade.
Relationship Myth #3: Showing a Man Your Feelings Will Scare Him Away
If you’ve ever been afraid to tell a man how you’re feeling because you’re afraid you’ll lose him if you do, then I’m certain this myth has been causing havoc in your love life.
Stuffing your feelings down actually creates more distance between you and a man. The key is not to suppress your feelings, but to express them without drama or blame.
[Ed. Note: Relationship coach Rori Raye teaches women simple and effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own miserable, empty love life into the glorious, two-decades-long marriage she has now. To learn more about creating long lasting relationships click here.]