Image by: dima_goroziya
By Anne Cacherell
I was feeling sick last Saturday night so I went to bed early and watched this romantic comedy about a boot camp for brokenhearted people. Since I’ve never heard of this concept before, I got really curious and started googling for businesses that offered similar types of services. I was surprised to see the search results: Love Rehab, Workshops and Retreats for the Brokenhearted, Heartbreak Holidays, Speed-the-Healing-of-the-Broken-Heart Project, Nurse-Your-Heartache Program, Post-Breakup Treatment and many more. Amazing, isn’t it?
I felt sorry for myself that I only found out about these centers now. Had anyone informed me a few years ago when I badly needed emotional assistance, for sure, I wouldn’t have had a second thought about enrolling myself into some coaching sessions and receive the healing I needed at the time.
Some people may find the concept funny, but it’s actually not. Though experience is the best teacher, being guided on how to get through pain is still much better than getting lost through trial and error, which was exactly what happened to me. I tried different things to make myself forget like alcohol, shopping, and partying for wrong reasons – all of my approaches ended up in disaster which resulted in more pain and bigger problems.
I strongly believe that the first step to freeing yourself from the past and moving on is you making a decision to help yourself. Help yourself realize the changes that you need to make. Help yourself fight your way out of despair. And help yourself figure out how to create happiness once again.
Self-reliance is all about taking responsibility of your life rather than playing the victim. It’s forgiving yourself for your mistakes instead of beating yourself up and dwelling in the pain.
Ladies, here’s why you need to make the effort to help yourself survive the past and embrace the present.
Because Letting Go Helps You Discover More About Who You Are
Moving on can help you see what you’re really made of. It makes you realize how strong you are as a woman and allows you to discover abilities and skills that you never thought you had.
In the piece “7 Tricks to Getting Over ‘The One That Got Away’ That Actually Work,” writer Megan Cary shares the importance of taking back control of your own thoughts and actions despite overwhelming sadness and grief.
Learning to rely on yourself can be a real struggle, but once you learn to understand and accept the lessons your experience is trying to teach you, there’s no doubt you will emerge stronger, better and more beautiful than ever before.
Because the Lifestyle You’ve Been Living No Longer Fits
Time changes things, including your goals, needs, and dreams. When you were younger, your dream was probably just to become Mrs. (last name of your BF) and live in a 2-storey house with your 3 kids. You know, the typical picture of a happy family that you see on real estate and housing loan ads.
However, as you mature and discover that life is way much more complicated than you think, you need to adjust everything because you may not be able to afford raising 3 kids or buy a 2-storey house or worse, your BF decided to leave you for another woman.
When circumstances shift unexpectedly, you have to know when to pivot and determine how to make a successful change. You have to keep your mind open to new experiences and adventures. You have to broaden your perspective and adjust your attitude to survive, transform and grow.
Because Nobody Can Set the Stage for Change For You But Yourself
Your family and friends may be there to support you, but at the end of the day, it’s all you. No one can tell you what to feel. No one can order you around and tell you what to do. No one can make things better for you. You are the only one who can make all the changes for yourself. You are the only one responsible for making decisions for yourself. Therefore, you are the only person that you can rely on. So, learn to stand on your own two feet and survive on your own.
And to help you change your life for the better, live healthier and feel happier, writer Katherine Schreiber suggests doing this little morning habit to improve your mood, boost your alertness and keep your circadian rhythm on track.
Because the Best Is Yet to Come
Life has its own special way of toughening you up, so allow it to do its job by embracing its changes. Don’t fight it by holding on to your past and choosing to stay stuck in a moment that no longer exists.
Sure, it’s unfair that you got your heart broken but that doesn’t mean that life ends there. So, don’t lose hope. Sometimes, pain is life’s way of preparing you for the happiness that you truly deserve.
And speaking of preparing yourself for best, check this out – “9 Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me About My 30s.”