Image by: Foundry
By Anne Cacherell
So, you’ve got a lot of problems in life, but have you ever considered the possibility that you might be the one causing some of the troubles in your life?
The other day, my friend Deena called me crying. She said that she caught her boyfriend cheating on her again for the up-teenth time. She was complaining that she was sick and tired of him and she was “thinking” of breaking up with him for good this time. However, the moment I heard the word “thinking” I knew that most likely, she was still going to end up forgiving him.
Deena believes that he is her one true love and I just don’t understand it ladies. She’s been with this man for almost 8 years now, since college, and I lost count along time ago as to how many times he’s fooled around. He’s never shown any signs of proposing to her, nor has he ever really taken the relationship to a serious level and now. I’m left wondering if he has any plans on doing it at all.
I hate this guy so much, but I’m infuriated with Deena even more because she loves that fool more than herself! As a friend, I can only do so much. I could nag the heck out of her the whole day, but it’s still up to her to make a decision for herself.
Ladies, sometimes, it’s you who are creating problems for yourself. You blame others for your sadness, you have all kinds of excuses as to why you are not where you are supposed to be and you try to convince yourself that the reason why you’re not successful is because you just have bad luck.
Well, I think that there is no better time than now to put an end to your self-inflicted problems. Here are some steps you can take to move from the life you’re living to one without reservations.
Surrender Yourself to Happiness
Sometimes, people judge too quickly. As a result, their self-preservation instincts get out of whack. They tend to get too scared to trust, hold back from loving completely, keep their expectations very low and torture themselves over-analyzing things.
According to writer Katie Ray, happiness will become weakened when distrusted and abused. Being paranoid, being overprotective of yourself and bombarding happiness with accusations and suspicions can pull you away from living your life to the fullest.
Ladies, let go of your fears and start feeding your happiness with actions and celebrations. Learn to focus on the beauty and the triumphs of the world so that you’ll be able to see the possibilities that optimism can afford.
Have Confidence in Your Ability
Another way to create problems for yourself is to allow your fears and self-doubts destroy your heart, mind and soul. When you choose to dwell on your moments of failure, you can never enjoy a joyful and productive life.
To counteract this negativeness, you should make a conscious effort to eliminate those unhealthy thought patterns in your head, believe in yourself and trust your ability to make correct decisions. Also, you can try to seek support, strength and encouragement from your friends and family as they can be an invaluable source of motivation and confidence boost.
And to help you stretch your perceived boundaries and find courage to face the risky, the unfamiliar and the unknown, check this out – “7 Easy Steps to Conquering Your Fear of Failure.”
Remember That You Always Have a Choice
Don’t you ever get tired of people who are always complaining how awful their life is and playing victim all the time as if they don’t have the ability to choose what to do and how to live their life?
Obviously, thinking that you have no power to create your life and make yourself who you are, is a self-inflicted problem because no matter what you do, no matter what circumstances you’re in, you always have choices. You can always choose happiness over pain, understanding over hatred, forgiveness over vengeance, and healing over despair and hopelessness.
Implement Positive Habits & Mindsets in Your Life
I believe that the root cause of almost all self-inflicted problems is a negative mindset. It’s hard to live a happy life when you always assume that people will take advantage of you, complain about everything in your life, and are too scared to take risks and think that you are not good enough.
To change your life for the better, try to adopt a more positive attitude and implement positive habits and mindsets.
Writer Paige Smith suggests doing these 13 easy things to reduce stress and lead a less hectic life.
My favorite foolproof strategy is saying NO to things that I have no interest in or no time for. In this way, I can avoid creating additional stress for myself, manage my time better and gain more freedom to say YES to the things that actually matter and bring happiness into my life. So, try to say NO more often. It’s as simple as that.